Monday, May 17, 2010

My dreams are under your wings

Last night 9 year old Naina revealed some of her hidden desires in life to her mother.

N: amma, you know what…. I have decided what I want to become when I grow up

G: really, what do you want to be?

N: I want to become a Bollywood actress !

Gauri was quite taken aback ..first she wanted to blurt out laughing and then she suddenly wanted to shout and then cry …..not knowing what would have been a better way to respond to her lil daughter's declaration, she tried to maintain her calm fighting the myriad thoughts that flashed through her mind in those few seconds between her response to young Naina

G : Why is that ?

N : I think they are really coool

G: What do you mean by cool?

N : Oh, that means they do lots of fun things, hangout in places like beaches, shopping malls etc with their friends and they DO NOT go out with their parents

Such a direct blow, the parent in Gauri was shattered, wouldn’t she possibly be her lil girl's best friend and not so much a motherly influence when she is a bit older? Swallowing her injured pride, Gauri decided to reason out and discourage Naina from such fanciful dreamy ambitions.

G: But you know what ..I don’t think actresses are so cool, they don’t always do the things that they want to do, in fact they rarely do anything that they really want to do ..they only do what the directors tell them to do.. so it is not so much fun really. Besides, people only like the way they look and they always talk horrible things behind their back,..actually most people think actresses are dumb

Naina didn't quite like her mother's opinion, maybe a little challenged but she tried to defend her understanding

N : Dumb ? does it mean not intelligent. So is Katrina Kaif dumb ? What about Vidya Balan – isn’t she intelligent ?

G: I don’t think Katrina Kaif is intelligent . Nor is Vidya Balan…Yes..dumb means not intelligent ..and that isn’t cool, right?

Naina's face fell. Gauri thought she was starting to partially win her battle of prejudices but soon discovered that young Naina wasn’t to be deterred, where there is a will there surely is some way!!

N : Ok , do you think then I can be an actress and a writer too. Writers are intelligent, right ?

Well, that’s what is called a boomerang coming from the offspring of parents who are passionate about literature!

G : I don’t think so dear, its not so easy to be all that , Actresses normally don’t become writers. You have to really work very very hard for that..

N : See .. for that all you need to do is go to bollywood, that is in Mumbai ..amma, do people other than actors stay in Bollywood ? Can I go to Bollywood ? Don’t you think I can act well, see like this ..

Naina donned some unusual facial expressions, fluttering her eyes and snapping her lil fingers in the air across her face like a celluloid diva.

That’s it, Gauri couldn’t take it anymore………..she was slogging her life only for this kid to become an actress of all the choices in the world! She did not mind so much when Naina as a 4 year old had declared that she wanted to join the circus, neither did she get uncomfortable when her lil girl wanted to be a teacher when she was 7 years fully knowing that her husband who hails from a family of teachers will not particularly appreciate adding one more teacher to his fold having had an overdose of them already in his life.

Certainly this is not what Gauri wanted from her only child. It is probably true that she did not do or become all those things that her own parents wanted for her many years ago !! But isn’t this too senseless an aspiration that Naina has opted for, even to offer any kind of poetic justice????

Gathering her wits but still unsure how to tackle it, Gauri whined inside while trying to tactically approach the situation and avoid an offensive.

G: You are only 9 years, too young to really know what you want to do later in life, so we will talk about this later. It is not necessary that you know at this point what you are really good at and what you want to become in life later. You must concentrate on your studies and on any arts or sports etc which you can learn now and this will help you decide later what is best for you..

N: But amma, my teacher has told us that if children dream of something, parents must help them achieve them. Do not spoil my dreams, for my dreams are under your wings. Its not only engineers or managers like you who do well in life, even artists, writers, sportsmen and actors become successful. So you and acha have to help me reach my dreams ……

Naina's words reminded Gauri of a few famous lines from her favorite Irish poet, WB Yeats - “But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams”

G : Yes , when the time comes we will talk and we will help you also. Now do what you must to build your foundation. Let’s switch off the lights now and go to sleep, tomorrow you have to go to the summer camp and amma has to go to office.

Kissing her goodnight, Gauri retired to her bed trying to chase slumber but Naina's profound words continued to tuck at her heart strings, ‘Do not spoil my dreams, for my dreams are under your wings’ ... She knew Naina may brush this current fascination to become an actress under the carpet in some time once she fancies something else but Gauri also realised this was only a beginning of testing times for her as a mother....this was nothing but a premature curtain raiser of more inevitable conversations to come when her daughter shall soon step into the enigma of teenage in a couple of years from now !

29 comments:

  1. Disclaimer: All characters in this post are fictitious , any resemblences to anyone you may know is merely coincidental :)

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  2. ആദ്യം തന്നെ ഞാന്‍ പറയുന്നത്. ബ്ലോഗ്‌ നെ കുറിച്ച് അല്ല ..അതിന്റെ പേര് ''gone with the wind ''-monsoon geetham എനിക്ക് ഒരുപാടു ഇഷ്ട്ടായി ....എന്തായാലും യാത്ര തുടരട്ടെ ..ഇംഗ്ലീഷ് ബ്ലോഗ്‌ നു മലയാളത്തില്‍ കമന്റ്‌ ..അപ്പോളേ എന്നെ മനസിലായല്ലോ ?എല്ലാ വിധ ആശംസകളും ..................

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  3. this was nothing but a premature curtain raiser of more inevitable conversations to come when her daughter shall soon step into the enigma of teenage in a couple of years from now !

    ഒരേ തോണിയില്‍ യാത്ര ചെയ്‌വോര്‍ നമ്മള്‍ , ഉത്തരം കൊടൂക്കാന്‍ ബുദ്ധിമുട്ടുന്ന ഒരുപിടിചോദ്യങ്ങളുമായിട്ട് ഇനിയും നമ്മുക്കൊരുമിച്ച് യാത്ര തുടരാം ഗീത.

    എങ്കിലും , “My dreams are under your wings“ എന്നത് ചെറിയ രീതിയിലെങ്കിലും എന്നെ പേടിപ്പിക്കുന്നു, ഒരു അമ്മയെന്ന രീതിയില്‍ എനിക്കുണ്ടാകാന്‍ പോകുന്ന വെല്ലുവിളികളെ ഓര്‍മ്മിപ്പിക്കുന്നു!

    ബൂലോകത്തിലേക്ക് സ്വാഗതം. ഇനിയും എഴുതൂ :)

    - സസ്നേഹം, സന്ധ്യ

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  4. Priya RamankuttyMay 19, 2010 at 8:46 AM

    u are scaring me this is what lies ahead is it LOL, Anyway glad u are able to put those creative energies to pen & express urself!

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  5. Geetha , Your blog ? Welcome and Enjoy the ride in the boolokam.

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  6. excellant write up... there are certain basic questions we find difficult to answer - its really tough being simple and basic.

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  7. appreciate your way of thinking

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  8. Dona Mayoora ഡോണ മയൂരMay 19, 2010 at 8:49 AM

    its about time, welcome abroad.

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  9. മഴയില്‍ ചാലിച്ച രചനകള്‍ക്കായി കാത്തിരിക്കുന്നു
    ആശംസകള്‍

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  10. Happy Blogging!!!

    Is this mere imagination ?
    or conversation between u and neha ?

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  11. അക്ഷരമറിയാത്ത ഒരാളും കൂടെ ബ്ലോഗിലെത്തിയതു നന്നായി.

    സ്വാഗതം.
    :)

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  12. jus read that N for Neha n G for geetha first. noughty me... :)

    anyways nice way of thinking...

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  13. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement.
    Siya - Really happy that you liked the name. Monsoon implies neha or rain , and no marks for guessing who's behind geethaM :)btw, I may choose to write in eng, but I am as much, if not more mal than anyone else :)
    Sandhya - grateful for the empathy and the reassurance that I am not the only one who turmoils to find the right answers
    Priya - oh yes, times to come ...
    Raja - straight from the heart, these questions have always been there but the answers are changing with the times and thats the real challenge
    Dona, Mathapu, Hariyannan - about time, maybe.. really dont have a clear idea yet, time will say..thanks for the acceptance
    Chechi pennu, Muralika - haha, what a coincidence :) Naughty , very naughty ...

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  14. Geetha.... gone through the post..... its just the copy of my(like many others) life... but its matter of time.... now Nannu is 12 and her future plans are changed surprisingly...hehehe... so wait for another 2 or 3 years..... Your blog is just too good.. like Siya said,"gone with the wind" is just awesome... I really loved that.. inspiring me to start one....

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  15. heyy chech ...nice blogg....so u too couldnt resist.......keep postin...thumps uppppp..[:)]

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  16. hello geetha,

    waiting 4 more !!!!!!!!!!
    cheers

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  17. that was a nice one geetha - nikhy

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  18. Hey..I read your blog.... very wll described the dilemma of the mother... tell me something... was it taken from one of your conversations with Neha or it is ur imagination... must say... loved reading it... nd yes the lines by W. B. Yeats are one of my fav lines too... :)))

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  19. Children not only have dreams, but they also know how to sell it to their parents!

    I know exactly how you felt :)

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  20. സത്യം പറഞ്ഞെ ചേച്ചി .... ഈ നിന ...ടെ ശരിക്കുള്ള പേര് നേഹ ന്നല്ലേ :)

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  21. Good to hear your thoughts. Very lucid! Awesome confession. Blogosphere is certainly the venue to let off some steam! As for the fictitious conversation, I am sure things will blow over.

    Do call me when you find the time. Have responded to your comment on my blog. Thank you. lv

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  22. Manju , deeply honoured that you feel inspired to write and thanks for strengthening my premise of times to come :)
    Anjali - the saying goes like this, its easy to resist anything but temptation, yes I am guilty to have succumbed :)
    Nikhy - thanks da
    Nijas - I wish we could start a poetry club or something at ekm for like minded persons to renew our love for literature - I feel so out of touch with my kind of corporate life and in my heart of hearts, I yearn to bring back those campus days to life again. Dont know if your tastes have changed but thought you maybe one of those people who are still interested
    Aswathy - Very true, children are the best negotiators, salesmen and deal clinchers in todays world. Sadly, except in a world struck by poverty and hunger :(
    Thehsu- Thank you dear..but there is an innate fear in confessions. I hope it will not crucify or lead to being crucified.
    Kannanunny, Ankita - there is both fact and fiction , the fact which inspires the fiction :)
    Anki - I never knew all this while that you too like poetry, some time we lost in the meanwhile ..sorry this was the least I would have expected from a technology innovation person. I certainly have to break free of certain stereotypes !!!

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  23. Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

    "You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
    For they have their own thoughts. "

    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
    You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
    The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
    Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
    For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is table
    .... ഖലീല്‍ ജിബ്രാന്‍

    geetha .. i am sure u 've read this b4 ..
    still ...

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  24. yes chechipennu, its an understatement to say I have read Khalil Gibran ..I sleep with the 'Prophet' next to me, its a work that hss awed and inpired me a lot. There are two men who really take my breath away...one is Gibran and the other is our very own Tagore ......maybe there is one more :)

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  25. അറിയാം .മനോജിന്റെ പുതിയ പോസ്റ്റില്‍ രാവിലെ വായിച്ചേ ഉള്ളൂ മുഴങ്ങോടിക്കാരി ടാഗോറിന്റെ ഫാന്‍ ആണെന്ന് .. :)
    ( ഞാന്‍ മലയാളം ആണു കൂടുതല്‍ വായിക്കാറ് . എഴുതാനും സുഖം അത് തന്നെ , hope u don ' t mind .
    ന്നാലും ഗീതന്ജലീലെ Where the mind ... My Father ,let my country awake ! വരികള്‍ ഞാന്‍ എന്റെ ജോലി സ്ഥലത്ത് ഒരു
    ഫ്രെയിം ചയ്തു വച്ചിട്ടുണ്ട് ....

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  26. After a long spell, I break my silence ..here's the indomitable Scarlet for you ..with this unfolds the inspiration for gone with the wind and the start of a journey through certain characters from life and fiction ..this series comes to life under the new label as series 'Impressions'

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